It’s a Relationship, Not a Religion

By George Kuo

This short message is my encouragement to those Christians who are still trying to build a close relationship with God, as I was years ago. I must say I was already reading the Word of God daily. I just wanted the relationship to be deeper. During that period, I mostly measured my relationship with God by how many things I had done and how hard I worked to build the relationship.

I had a list of things I should achieve in order to please God, such as finding a suitable spouse for my son or bringing in more financial support for various ministries, all the supposedly good things done for others and for God. The problem with the list was that God was not involved directly in the process. I might feel good about going through all the lists, but no relationship was built through the process.[1]

I would also set aside a certain period of my daily schedule as what I called a “prayer time.” Using this mode of spiritual pursuit, I would feel very good if I could squeeze in more special time with God. What I am describing is a kind of religious pursuit to raise relationship with God to a higher level through hard my work and then try harder if I fall short of my goal.

God as Goal or God as Father and Friend?

By the grace of God, as I grew in the knowledge of His Word, I realized trying to build a close and intimate relationship with God could not be achieved by doing this or that as a religious pursuit. In my heart, I was craving for a true relationship in which I could see God as a Father and a Friend.

The breakthrough came when I realized that when a day is unfolding, any time is a good prayer time. I found that situations such as carrying out my daily tasks are opportunities to have conversation with God.2[]

There was a time when I went to work by taking three commuter trains. I actually enjoyed the long train rides because it was a time I spent with God, having conversation with Him (quietly in my mind and spirit) about all kinds of things and issues of life. Sometimes when I had special challenges at work, I would ask God for more insight, wisdom and patience. At times I just closed my eyes and meditated and pondered about things that were burdening me. When I saw an accident along the highway, I would ask God to give people grace and help for those who were involved in the unfortunate event. I began to know that anywhere and any time was the right time to have communication with God!

I also regularly wrote articles to be published in some Christian magazines. I asked God to be involved in my writing process. If I got stuck for some reason, I would pause and do something else such as taking a “prayer walk” or just silently walking outside to be in tune with God’s Spirit. Almost every time I came back, I would have a renewed insight and fresh vision to continue my writing. During these moments, I hardly said much. I just focused on what God had to say to me.

When I drive alone in a car, I believe that is the best time to have a good conversation with God too. I would ask God a question to find an answer from Him. Or I would “wrestle” with Him about some tough decision that I had to make. I really enjoy the process because it is so real and I begin to appreciate the presence of God. Sometimes I would say, “from now on, I want to remain silent, I would like to hear from you God. Please give me inspiration or a word of wisdom for today.” I think you get the idea. In other words, having a close relationship with God can happen anywhere and any time. We just need to be in tune with God. God should be the focus in our lives.

Through this spiritual journey, I also realized there were things that would hinder having an intimate relationship with God. For example, anything that is from the spirit of the flesh (see Galatians 5:19-21) such as unrepentant sins, a proud spirit, unforgiveness, etc. would cut off a close relationship with God. Also, even by sharing my journey of success with others about how I developed an intimate relationship with God, I can develop pride which distances my relationship with God. As an aid, especially in such times of clear hindrance, I have found that fasting and prayer together would help me come closer to God.

With this kind of spiritual pursuit, I have been blessed to be on a pathway to continue developing a really close and intimate relationship with God. Interestingly, I also continue to feel the joy of the Lord in my life. The more I have the joy of the Lord, the more I want to spend time with God. It is fun, dynamic, and never boring! What a wonderful journey that is still ongoing.

References

[1] Check out the "Participation or Trophies" article by Matt Reffie for related reading on this subject at https://www.projectarctos.com/archive/58/participation-or-trophies.

[2] If you'd like to explore deeper spiritual practices like this and others, consider signing up for one of our “Hearing God” online group sessions at https://www.projectarctos.com/workshops-list/hearing-god-workshop.

George Kuo lives in Southern New Jersey. He and his late wife, Linda, led marriage and relationship enrichment ministries for many years, including authoring a popular book on marital intimacy, Oneness in Marriage, based on Biblical principles and their own experiences through their many decades of marriage. You can learn more about their ministry work and writings here: https://www.shen-guo.org/oneness-in-marriage.html. Since Linda’s passing into eternity in April 2023, George has been sharing his faith and journey of grief within his senior living community and beyond.